An older photo of Logan (left) mason (right) and myself. I’ll be sure to post more recent pictures, soon.
So, personal post this time. My younger brother scared me this past week. Most people wouldn’t have reacted the way that I did but I battle with anxiety and it mostly surrounds my little brothers and other close family members.
Here’s the story, I was in changing at the end of class last Thursday and my mom texted me, (which is unusual since she knows that I am busy) saying that Logan, 9 year old brother, was hurt and that they were headed to the hospital in Sulphur. They had been in Sulphur all morning at a homeschool meeting. So, there I am, half-dressed and instantly kicking into anxiety freak out mode where my mind plays all the worst scenarios possible like a movie in my head. I called my mom and I didn’t have to say a word. She handled my flip flawlessly, because she also struggles with anxiety and PTSD. She told me every single detail, knowing how much I needed that, (apparently, Logan rolled down a hill and landed with all of his weight onto his knee which hit a sharp piece of metal under some loose gravel. he ended up with 23 stitches) and she told me a list of things to do and stay busy until they got back. I’m very lucky that my mother understands and has learned to cope as much as she has. If not, I may not have been able to drive myself home from school that day. Another thing that I am lucky for is my best friend, Elisa, whom I’ll talk about often, and also my older brother, Christian. I left from SOTC and met with Elisa in Ardmore and calmed myself down until I decided to go to my older brothers house while Elisa was at school. My older brother and I get along like the closest of friends, and he kept me happy and kept my mind off of Logan. I knew he was okay, however, I couldn’t keep my mind from wondering what would happen if he had hit a little higher on hit leg and cut an artery.. or if he had fallen onto any other body parts.. his head.. obviously, this was not a good train of thought to be on. My brother and I worked on his new house and talked and I also got to know his girlfriend as much as I could that day. Trying to keep my mind busy and doing so very well with the help of everyone. Though I did well, I was still a nervous wreck once my family was home from Sulfur and my mom could just sense that. When I walked in the door, my mom came out of her room and sat with me and talked to me about it more in depth, knowing that I needed to talk about it just as much as she did. I went to bed that night with the knowledge that I couldn’t have done it without my mom, most importantly, but also my best friend and my big brother. God knew exactly what I needed in my life and he has surely provided me with everything that I’ll ever need. I thank him fr the blessings ive been given.
