Recently, I had a bit of an eye opening moment about “love”
Yes, the “L” word.. some people don’t like to say it, and some say it too often. I happen to be both of those people mixed together. With friends, I throw that word around carelessly, not really intending the actual meaning when I say it, but just saying it because.. because. However, with people I truly care about, I am a little more hesitant with it because when you care about the way its taken, you tend to think more about the way you want to put it.
When my mom and step-dad started dating, they “loved” each other very quickly, calling it ” love at first sight” I happen to be one of those people who think the whole falling in love at first glance thing is total crap. Here’s what I believe happens: You see the person, you take in their physical appearance and use that to determine whether or not you want to get to know that person and if you decide that it intrigues your taste, then, you will usually make some sort of move to act on that attraction whether it be flirting or just straight up asking for a number or a date. If they also are intrigued by your appearance, they’ll accept this and you will both end up getting to know each other. You may get to know each other by going on dates… or you could end up taking the first date a little too far and have to tell the family about a little oops growing in your belly… either way, you begin to open yourself up as you begin to see the way the other works. The way they act when it’s just the two of you, the way they relax at home, the way they smile, chew, laugh, think, etc. You get to know the actual person behind the physical features of their face and body. THAT is when you give your chance the ability to fall in love.. at first sight, you’re infatuated, but once you have seen them with no walls up and you’ve seen the personality past what your eyes can see and more with what you let yourself learn about who they are as a person, that’s when you can love them. Loving someone is a choice you make at first sight. Infatuation draws you in, but sticking around is when you’ve got the chance to really see them naked. You think seeing someone naked is when they take their clothes off? It’s not, it’s when you know what they’re passionate about, what makes them cry, what breaks their heart, when you know about they’re childhood and their dreams. That’s when you’ve really seen them naked and can love them, before that, it’s as if you’re saying that you love a book you’ve never read but seen the cover.
Point being, love is a choice. You won’t ever look at someone and be automatically overwhelmed with feelings of love, you probably didn’t see your significant other for the first time and instantly know that you’d die for them.. You see them, you like what you see, you go for it, you learn about them, you choose to love them baggage and all. I think that’s much more beautiful than the fairy tale BS about spontaneous love by physical appearance.
